Twins

Best man speech for Dan

Matthew Rodriguez

5 minute read

Dan and I are twins.

We always have been.

Not in the traditional sense. When we were young, many confused us as twins. (Thanks Mom for giving us the same haircuts and dressing us alike)

I didn’t enjoy this, viscerally. I am two years older than Dan. He didn’t look two years older for his age; I thought I shouldn’t look two years younger.

I do think, however, that it brought Dan joy. He was my biggest fan…

… apparently.


Live recording of the speech

It begins here, and looseley follows my written outline…

because I “memorized” it and spoke from the heart!


I say apparently because of a story that I am about to share. A story only true in our memory, and held by my mom. (I suppose it would be fair for my Dad to say, it’s an old wives tale.)

Everyday, when I got home from kindergarten or elementary school (it’s a blurry timeline – before Dan was attending), he would greet me at the front door. I would punch him. Dan met me with excitement – he looked up to me. I met him with angst – he annoyed me. Perhaps I was taking my frustration of the day out on him. Perhaps I am a monster.

Maybe, there is some deep rooted trauma.

Another fuzzy timeline. Dan and I were very young, and my mom was bathing us together. Now this is not an old wives tale. This I recall: Dan stood up in the bathtub, and peed into my mouth.

Maybe he deserved those punches. I am not qualified to make any conclusions. Given the data, you are welcome to make your own.

Regardless. Twins. This is what we were seen as – this is what we were often called.

In my heart, I know it to be true, in spirit. For Dan and I get one another. We share so much likeness, in our desires and passions and personality, that I feel connected to him in an unspoken way (I suppose until right now, since I just spoke it).

Dan and I have many of the same friends. Don’t ask them who they like more. It will only hurt my feelings. Dan is a kinder person than I.

Dan and I play video games, often. And often, together. Don’t ask who is better at games. It will only hurt my feelings. Dan has grinded more gaming hours than I.

When Dan followed me to college, to the University of Delaware, I was pumped. At school, we hung out often. I cherish those years in my memory. We had a lot of fun together – but I was often hard on him. One of his nicknames, coined in those days, is “slothboy”.

For all of our likeness, we differ distinctly in our action. I am type A, an idealist, a bit of a perfectionist. I stress out easily, and run myself down. Dan is more type B. He is practical, patient, and knows how to rest. He’s chill.

In my angst, I worried about him. I thought, how is he ever going to grow up like an adult and get stuff done? And yet looking back, I am in awe. He met his college sweetheart, Julie. His one and only girlfriend. His one and only.

And Julie is perfect for him. She is amazing. She is so kind, and beautiful – and she likes gaming and Dan’s nerdy side and his annoying wit. They watch cartoons together and share adorable childish interests. Childish in the best way – in a joyful, innocent, youthful way.

Julie has felt like a part of the family for so long. I don’t even remember the transitions of knowing of her, to knowing her, to feeling like she was totally part of the family. Time has blurred those edges.

Julie celebrates Christmas with us. She has been for years. She loves Christmas, maybe even more than Hanukkah.

Julie rounds out our comically competitive family Fantasy football league. Her team hame: Veggie Omelet – which I take as a personal attack on my past vegetarian diet restrictions that excluded egg. It’s early, but right now she looks to have the best team in the league.

Julie and Dan. I can’t see it any other way. I am so proud of both of them, in who they are, and how I’ve seen them grown. I look up to them, even though they are younger. They continue to teach me what it means to have a committed relationship, to know someone deeply, to love well.

I love my brother. No doubt. I love him like I love myself. Because I see him as a part of myself. My twin.

But most of all I love Dan and Julie, as one. Because I see them as an example for myself. And because I thoroughly enjoy being around them.

Also sometimes they dog sit Cabo for me. And Julie calls him Mommy’s Little Baby. It’s adorable.

Also as a wedding gift Cabo is now yours – I have a strict no return policy.

A toast to Dan & Julie!